you don't need to be a size 0

27.6.14

People constantly keep telling you that you don't need to be a size zero. You don't need to be skinny. You don't need to look beautiful, you don't need to put on make up. And it's true, you don't need to. But it doesn't always mean that you don't want to. 

Being a teenager is tough. Suddenly it's like you're in the spotlight and the whole world is your audience; every movement you make is under scrutiny and every inch of your body is being judged like you're on the runway. Growing up in Taiwan didn't help either. At 1.7 meters tall, I was always taller than the average height, which meant that I was naturally larger as well. Having to wear a shirt in large when all my peers were wearing them in extra small was already a blow to my self-esteem. Paired with people constantly commenting on how I was gaining as much weight as I was sprouting height didn't help either; and the sad fact that I could rarely find a nice outfit my size as majority of clothes on the highstreet were one sized, it's an understatement that I hated my body throughout middle school and early high school. 

But second year of high school, I started taking effort to exercise more and eat healthier. I lost a couple of kilos and that was when I looked back at old pictures from middle school to realize that I wasn't half as fat as I thought I was. My self-esteem started growing again as I started to accept my body for how it was. I'm 170 centimeters and never likely to be a size zero. I don't need to be a size zero and while sometimes I do crave to understand what it would feel like to be able to be that size. I've accepted that bodies come in all shapes and sizes: I do have a tummy, I do have slightly wibbly arms, I do have broad shoulders and my calves are going to look short. But this is who I am and I've learnt to love myself. True, I'll still have days when I'll look in a mirror and pick out faults from the way my nails look to the untameable bad hair days I have. But at the end of the day, I do love myself - body and all - as I am the person that I'm going to have the longest relationship with. 

So no, while we might want to be a size zero, we don't need to be. Sure, work on the areas you think need 'fixing' but at the end of the day, love yourself. 

PS. I tried guys, but I think I burned all my middle school photos - that's how bad my self-esteem was. This was taken around the time I gained near 7 kilos in a year due to stress eating as I was preparing for my college entrance exams. 
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