*bleep* you hear in my programme.


I study criminology, so there are things I'm used to hearing on a daily basis. But to the people outside this niche? It sounds like we're either high on drugs or about to be institutionalised. I also have genius professors that say the weirdest, wittiest things. So about halfway through last term, I started compiling a list of the things that have been vocalised in the department. 

- (on the introductory paragraph of essays) "There are some of you that promised something in the introduction, but maybe you ran out of words, lost track...maybe lost the will to live?" 

- (this happened in the last class just before Christmas break) "we'll end this term on the seasonal note of anti-social behaviour!" 

- "She's quite involved in rape, isn't she?" "I think she was the one that conducted the sex in prison study."

- "Have fun in the rape class...that sounds wrong no matter how I phrase it."

- "I deem you a rogue and vagabond!"

- We lost the case because the judge was bonkers and he can't read evidence. 

- "If you want to transfer and mobile your capital, invest in heroin." 

- (introducing another professor) "He specializes in drugs and young people." 

- "You're all horribly young."

- (regarding the slide above) "If you take one thing from this class. Let it be this." 

- "Most people who do their PhD on drugs get to do it in fun and exciting places, like go out to clubs. I got to sit in a room for seven years, staring at a computer." 

- "We thought we'd throw in terrorism as well -" "Why not, right? Knife crime, drugs, and terrorism, the holy trio." 

- "There was a title in the paper when I was a kid - Margaret Thatcher, Milk Snatcher. SHE STOLE MY MILK! I was angry and grew up thinking that she was going to be the prime minister FOREVER." 

- "I really like the word melange. It reminds me of pudding and it makes me hungry." 

- "Are there any Dutch speakers here? Guess I'm going to end up butchering this term then. But at least no one will be able to laugh at me." 

- (in a lecture about drug tourism) "I went to Amsterdam earlier this year...*class snickers* FOR A CONFERENCE. But I did go 15 years earlier...not for a conference." 

What can I say? It's just another day. 
With Love, 
Daphne x