hey, younger me.


It's hard being young - it is one of the toughest times in your life exactly because you have zero life experience. You have nothing to compare against what you are going through and you will be tied up in the events that seem to take over your whole world. The reason that hindsight is 20/20 is because you gained life experience, you've gone through hardships that you can hold up as standards. Being young is hard and you've survived it. You've made it this far and you will make it further. I've survived for over 24 years and these are some things that I would like to tell myself if timetravel was possible. 

Stay away from Chanel perfumes. There’s a 90% chance that Chanel perfumes will end up giving you a headache. Smelling good for 30 minutes is not worth getting a headache. Ever.

Yes, it is that Bourjois foundation that's breaking you out. Years of going to the dermatologist and traditional medication can be saved if you ditch that foundation. 

Don't try to keep becoming who you were before. Things happened to you and they changed you. Grow from the event. You cannot go back to who you were before and that’s not always a bad thing. 

It’s okay to be tired and not want to fight anymore. Take the day off, lounge in your pajamas and marathon seasons of Law and Order: SVU without guilt. Tomorrow, that’s when you pick yourself up again; today, just rest. 

It's okay to ask for help. It doesn't mean you're weak. Being an honors student conditioned you to into thinking that you had to know everything and you have to handle things by yourself. But you don't. You don't have to hide away in the corner, racking your head trying to figure out the puzzle. You don't have to bottle everything in. Ask for help. It doesn't make you weak. It means you're strong enough to admit you're not enough. It makes you human.

It's okay if you don't fit in, just as it is okay to compromise. But don't lose yourself along the way. It's okay if you decide to pretend to be someone you're not because you want to fit in. You can pretend to like the bands that your classmates like, you can pretend to hate biology because everyone else thinks that it's a nerdy subject. You will want to fit in, especially if you feel different. It's okay to compromise, but no matter how far you divert away from the path, remember to come back. You will be happier when you accept you are who you are and you will find the people that love you for who you are. 

You can surround yourself with people you want to call friends but secretly hate. But know this is only temporary, you will find your people some day. You're a teenager and that's when your peer groups start to become the main influence. These people that you surround yourself with, they're like an invisible gas that will poison you before the effects kick in. You will feel disconnected from yourself, from your peer group, and you will try to convince yourself that this is the norm. But I promise you, the minute you realize that you don't need to care about these people and that you are better, that's the moment you start learning how to be happy. When you no longer try to mold yourself to accommodate people, that's when you'll attract the ones that love you for who you are. These are your people. 

Don't immediately judge people by what they said five years ago
. People grow up, people change, people learn, and people mature. You do, too. Who they were five years ago probably isn't the same person they are today. Even you will change and become someone else you never thought you would. Don't be too quick to judge. Especially on something that happened in the past. 

Staying true to yourself does not mean you cannot change. Time changes, nature changes, you change. It's the natural course of things. But like the sun rising from the East and as water flows from the high grounds to the low; remember the core of who you are - that is your due north.

Don't let anyone devalue what you're feeling just because you're 'young'. It doesn't matter if you're 13 or you're 30 - what you're feeling is yours and it's real. You can hate someone when you're 7, you can have your heart broken at 13, you can have an epic love when you're 15 - just because someone older scoffs it, it doesn't make what you're feeling less real. It is yours, you own it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or devalue the meaning it has to you.

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for being a girl. You know those boys that would pull at your bra straps? Or the offhanded comments that made you think you were the second gender because you wanted to wear a dress and sparkly shoes? The idea that wearing lipstick and mascara made you vain and shallow? Screw them. Yes, you are a girl, these things are considered girly, but you are not the second gender because you want to twirl in a dress and wear high heels. 

You are enough. You have been guilted into thinking that you are never smart enough, never pretty enough, or skinny enough. It's been implicated that you're not docile enough to ever get a boyfriend, or witty enough to win over a crowd. You have been told countless times that you just aren't enough. But you are, you are enough. It will take long years to slowly learn that you are enough, and you will have a hard time accepting that you will be anything other than inadequate. Even when you finally come to accept that idea of being enough, you will still struggle at times. But don't be afraid to ask for help, don't be afraid to find your people, don't be afraid to admit that you're scared. None of this makes you inadequate - you are strong. You are enough. 

"I told her once that I wasn't good at anything. She told me survival is a talent." -Girl Interrupted. If you survive, you learn, you mature, you better yourself. What are some of the lessons that you would tell your younger self if you had the chance to timetravel? 

With Love, 
Daphne x